Stitching Of Our Hearts

@intolerablexsacrifice continued from [x]

He had been keeping up to date for months now – and he had thought perhaps he was ready. Seeing James again had stolen the air from his lungs in so many ways it had scared him. There was no denying that his heart still beat for the man and yet, he hadn’t wanted to show it – wasn’t ready to show it or accept what it might mean when he did. Instead he had simply tried to entertain conversation, catching up with the man face to face rather than through third parties. 

It had been pleasant, honestly. Nerves had settled over time and things had felt right up until he had to go. James had reached out so quickly – the grip so tight and immediate that it had taken great will to stand still and civil when his own instincts were flaring with alarm at the action. He was glad he had managed it though – the hurt on James features told him clearly enough that anything harsher might have broken something between them, and that was the scariest part of all of this. 

His chest is tight – a decision looms before him, one that he knows only he can make. It is that reassurance alone that steadies him enough to consider the benefits and consequences before he steps forward instead of away. The motion solidifies his choice, and he closes the distance, pulling James into a warm embrace – the same embrace he had avoided offering when he first arrived, for fear of what it might cost. Now, he knew that denying them this wouldn’t help – they both needed the solidity of knowing the other was there in more than stories from the mouths of others. 

“I’ll be back,” He promised, needing James to know that he wasn’t saying something more permanent in this choice of farewell. Stepping back, he gripped the man’s shoulders the way he used to – even if they were broader, stiffer than he remembered, the gesture stayed familiar. “Thank you, James.” He didn’t know if the man really understood why he needed this – but the fact that he never forced anything meant the world to Thomas, and he deserved to know that, by some measure.