atoll: if your muse could go anywhere, without any restrictions whatsoever, where would they go? why would they go there?
Even though it has been sixteen years since he has seen her shores – and the last time he was there, all that which he knew and valued had been destroyed – Silver still considers Spain to be his home. If he thought he could return there without being held accountable for his father’s crimes against the aristocracy, he would not hesitate to return to the place where he was born and raised.
black: does your muse have a ‘bucket list?’ list some things your muse wants to accomplish before they die.
All of the goals Silver had in his past were designed and chosen for him. His mother had intentions for him – and his father broke him down and molded him into the precursor of what would one day be Silver. When it comes to being on his own, Silver took a great deal of time coming into his own – but ultimately, what he wants most in life is to regain what he lost.
He understands that his mother and grandmother will never stand at his side again, that his friends no longer know his face if they even survived the assault, and that even the servants who helped raise him are gone forever. What he longs for is a sense of security, a community that he can truly trust where he can be himself – and learn who he is without manipulations and masks to survive behind. A place where he matters, and where those around him mean the world.
In essence, he wants to find a home again, one that has a foundation of trust and care rather than deceit and self interests. He just isn’t certain that it is possible – and in the end, settles for what he considers to be the nearest thing. The crew of the Walrus care about him, even if there is no real trust to be found and everything is about a careful balance of charisma and control. It’s not a family, and it’s not a home – but it is security as long as it is maintained and it is something he can call his own – so it is good enough.
new leaf: what message would your muse send to their past self, if any?
Run.
The moment where Silver feels his life truly altered was when he saw the flames of his former home and raced his horse toward them. He had been out for training when the attack came, as the report from his father’s spy had maintained – he was never meant to see what had been done. He was meant to be deceived, convinced his mother wanted this new life for him, and manipulated through letters from a dead woman into behaving the way the Hope family desired.
Instead, he raced into the midst of the carnage, managed to bypass lingering soldiers who were ensuring that their victims were indeed dead and neither stunned nor faking, and find what remained of his mother and grandmother amid their escape party. He was too ravaged by the sight to think of doing anything but holding his mother and begging her to be alright, promising her he’d get help, to think of running. He was dragged from her side and when his screaming became vexing enough, he was knocked out.
If he were to give any advice to his past self, it would be to turn his horse and flee for the nearby city, to run as fast as he could for soldiers and men who could have, would have – stood between himself and the English that day. Had he run, had he been able to find a way to fight – he would still be among his people, he would be with an uncle or even an aunt, and he would never have seen English shores. Nor, would he have ever seen what truly happened that day, and spend the remainder of his life haunted by women in stained dresses.
Ocean Archive 