Learning James’ Truth

There were no words spoken in their reunion. To see James McGraw again was so many ways a dream that there was no hesitation in Thomas to reach for him – to hold on to this piece of sunlight in his past that had somehow found its way into his present and cradle it as the precious treasure it was. Time fell away in that moment, leaving only warmth and welcome for something thought long lost. 

This honeymoon period was not built to last – with nearly a decade passed between them, Thomas and James had a great many things to discuss. While I have crafted various verses for what comes next, the immediate responses have been rather deliberately bypassed in each and every one of them for one very simple reason:

I fucking hate writing confrontation, and Thomas is a fucking hurricane that has just been provoked in the most dramatic and dangerous of fashions. No matter how good a man may be, to learn the things that Thomas did with the simple introduction to the fact that James McGraw and Captain Flint are in fact the same person does not result in good choices. 

Thomas will reach the point where he understands what James did, and he understands that James did not know the truth of what had happened to him, in the heat of that moment there are three terrible truths to confront: 

1. The sensation of having been abandoned by James.
   
2. The knowledge that James possessed the power to save him. 
3. The realization that James murdered his parents.

Thomas’ response to this was not rational. It was not right. But it was perfectly valid in consideration to all that he was feeling. 

He struck James. Of this I do not doubt. And how that fight escalated and ended is verse dependent but if you think for one second Thomas wouldn’t lash out at the man responsible for his mother’s death I really don’t know what to tell you. 

While he does regret the action, he has a right to that anger. He has a right to the hurt that he felt that day and he has a right to continue to have days where these things hurt him. These are issues that Thomas and James need to work through and depending on verse they may be alright, they may be buried or they may be healed, but they are a factor between them and to ignore that is a disservice to Thomas – and in its own way, to James as well. To ignore it denies them any chance at real recovery, and that is not something I am okay with.