[theypissedonme @ vane] “Oh floor, you’re always there for me. So supportive. Not like walls and staircases, always getting in my way.”

“What – happened?” Jack wasn’t usually the one sprawled out on the ground like a dead thing, and he definitely was not the one who tended to get himself fucked beyond all reckoning just so that he could sleep. So whatever it was that had knocked Jack to a point this low – couldn’t be good. For Jack or the Ranger and her crew, as frankly Vane needed his quartermaster to be fucking functional.

Crouching, he laid a hand on a narrow, pointy shoulder and half rolled Jack to get a look at him. To see if he was sauced off his ass or injured, or if he really was just having. Some arcane Jack moment understood only by himself. “You good?”

@theypissedonme

“How can you keep messing up a recipe with two ingredients?” [ @ silver ]

{ Disenchantment Prompts }

You mean aside from the fact I’ve never cooked a day in my life? Silver wondered absently, even as he replied, “Just because the ingredients are simple doesn’t mean the process isn’t complicated.”

“I’m gonna march up and say something I’ll have figured out by the time I get there.” [ @ silver welcome to Winging It hell. hilariously i almost sent this from rackham to vane bc it’s a MOOD ]

{ Disenchantment Prompts }

If it would not have been absolute suicide to do so, Silver might have spend the next ten minutes dirading this idiot in Spanish, but as it was all he could muster that would not be too revealing was a flat, “How the fuck have you survived up until now?”

[theypissedonme] Charles receives one (1) sharp elbow to the ribs for fuck knows what reason, but Jack would most certainly insist he deserved it. [ WEAPONIZED ELBOWS ]

“For fuck sakes Jack,” The sudden jab into his side was even less welcome while his ribs were still recovering from earlier impacts than it would have been under normal circumstances, “It’s not my fault these fucks don’t know when to give up.”

This should have been a normal prize – the fact these men were fighting like mad dogs told him they had something aboard that ship their country would sooner see them hang than accept their surrender of. They were fighting like men who knew they were dead if they didn’t at any rate – which meant of course there was no choice but to sweep through and subdue them.

Whatever they were protecting was worth a fortune to someone, after all.

“This’ll be over soon and you can express your complaints after we’ve secured the ship – understand?”

@theypissedonme

Has James been staring intensely and longingly at Thomas for an inappropriate length of time? Absolutely. He’s like a cat. A fidgety cat with emotional suppression issues and an inability to keep his eyes off of one (1) man. [ yknow what this could literally be any time period and any verse because THIS ASPECT OF JAMES@THOMAS NEVER CHANGES EVER ]

“Is there something on my face?” Thomas was actually beginning to grow a little disconcerted with James’ extended period of staring. In truth he had a feeling the man was thinking through something – but it was difficult for his own mind to focus when he had the sharp awareness that he was being watched so very diligently. If nothing else, at least teasing the lieutenant would provide some amusement.

does. Charles. know. that pointy boy loves him with all his disgruntled little pangolin heart.

Chaz is indeed aware of this very important fact, though of course neither one of them put that sort of thing into words. Partly because doing so makes things a little too real and a little too – vulnerable – which is not an emotion either one of them enjoys enduring for any reason. And partly because neither one of them fully knows how the other will react to such a fact being granted a vocal platform.

But he does know and he does grant Jack liberties that no other man ( or human in general – or pangolin, in fact ) has access to. Like calling him Chaz for one thing, to the point that it is the only nickname he accepts, though you have to be a Rackham level friend to unlock the right to it and thus far Rackham is the only one on that level and so here we are.

theres ONE exception to the Flint You Inedible Bastard rule and that’s that floppy-hair flint IS a snack. i dont know why his weird bob is endearing but it is and i adore him. discuss

Its because when his hair is floppy it obscures his angry forehead and makes him look soft, and the stubtail he has going on is an excellent handling technique for when he is being stupid. Like grabbing a cat by the scruff, you just gotta haul him around by his most convenient handle !

I have been yelling at Malakh about Vane and his perceptions of intelligence so let me do a brief run down for you folks.

Vane does not view himself as smart – he views himself as adaptable and capable of surviving anything just short of a motherfucking apocalypse, provided he has the right resources.
Smart People Are A Resource.
How??
Smart people can tell you if that pardon in your hand is In Fact a pardon and not a letter which reads This Is Charles Vane, Arrest Immediately, Don’t Worry, He Thinks This Is A Pardon complete with overdramatic flourish that was the 16th century standard for the cry-laugh emoji and whose meaning has been lost over time to translate simply as those bitches were extra.

In all seriousness though Vane was kidnapped at the age of seven and forced into hard labor for 13 – 14 something years I am too tired to check my own chronology on this so whatever, sleepdrunk headcaons ahoy.

In any case – after busting out of Hell he meets Edward Teach who is ruthless and big on the whole animal food chain philosophy of Only The Strong Survive – but also, deeply valued the power of intellectual warfare and emphasised the importance of being smarter than the enemy.

He taught Vane a lot of things – including his letters, which nobody in that era understood as Fucking Impressive because you learn your letters as a child or you’re Just A Dumb Peasant for struggling with it as an adult – but above all he emphasised that fear inside of Vane, that internal terror of being dragged back to Hell – by making it clear that if you Were Not Strong & Smart Enough, You’d Be Fucked.

So Vane – a very big, very powerful lad – learned quick to be The Strongest Fuck On The Docks and to establish his dominance as fast as humanly possible. Because with dominance and strength comes reputation and with reputation comes the power to encourage smart people to ally up because often times smart people tended to have a need for strong people, and thus transaction is crafted between the two.

However Vane also knew he could not survive as a dumb people. Not if he wanted to ensure he never, ever found himself on the stocks again. He needed to be more than strong he needed to be smarter than the strong, he needed to be strong and smart. Which leads in to his observational method of learning – he learns by osmosis, to be perfectly frank – and that is why the more exposure he has to the people he registers and views as smart and in charge, the more likely he is to sound vaguely like them when he enters into his own verbal disputes.

Vane is in fact a very quiet fucking person. He is more often than not reluctant to engage in lengthy conversations – for fourteen years of his life talking was often punishable by the lash and learning to overcome that training is difficult. It often takes a mask or an armor to manage, and at the same time he cannot sound like a parrot or people will see right through him.

So he listens and he watches and when he speaks he measures and paces himself, but his focus is generally on how to maneuver this situation like [ insert person best suited to maneuvering this situation ] and builds from there. The only times Vane really sounds like himself is when there is no fight or threat at hand, and generally tends to involve minor domestic moments with Rackham or Bonny – the only people aside from his ‘family’ and Teach who really know he’s a very simple man with very simple needs and goals.

What even they don’t know though, is that while he boxes it up in powerful ways so people will listen, at the end of the day the only thing Vane truly wants is the guarantee that he and those he cares about will be able to live free, and feel safe. And as someone who has never felt safe a day in his life – its the moments when he doesn’t feel like he has anything to prove that he is at his most honest, though more often than not – he is in a safe situation, and just doesn’t realize That Is What This is.

And that’s a rambly headcanon that covers a whole lot of shit to ultimately say if you’re wondering why I often portray Vane in nonthreatening positions its because I want to learn who he is in those situations because I know exactly who he is when he’s threatened and the point of development is putting characters in situations that are abnormal to learn about them :V

And also I just really wanted an excuse for that calligraphy joke. And also to tie in the whole Everything Is A Transaction To Vane thing I nattered about when I was 150% more coherent than I am right now ❤ WOO!

Mun Note: Although I have written some allusions toward the scandals that run rampant throughout the Hamilton family, it occurs to me I should actually put down some specifics so people have a full overview of the General Bullshit that Thomas deals with even before his own scandal tore him down because let’s face it, that family is cursed. ~~It’s probably the wigs.~~

This post will go into why on occasion Thomas will snap at people unprovoked or crawl into their laps like an Irish Wolfhound that has not realized it’s fully grown ass is too big for this seat, simply by introducing the general cast / explaining a bit about Whomst The Fuck the Hamiltons even are.

Thomas is the oldest of three children born to Lord Alfred Hamilton – one of the Lord Proprietors of the Bahamas – and his wife, Helena Hamilton
née Stanhope.

Helena had three older brothers – Christopher, the eldest of the Stanhopes, inherited the family estate and was both a landowner and lawyer. Benjamin, the second eldest, maintained a valuable career in the Navy and was post-captain by the time she died. His career largely tended to benefit the overall reputation of the Stanhopes and consequently, the good nature of their estate.

Andrew however, was the one who made bank as it were. With oversights in the EITC until ultimately gaining a post as governor in the Carolinas, he made a ridiculous amount of money which he poured back to Christopher, who in turn used it to enrich the estate and buy back ancestral lands that had been sold under their father’s tenure.

These three men hate Alfred Hamilton with an extreme prejudice to which Thomas is not in the least bit unaware, and each one of them had some small part to play in keeping Thomas from suffering an even worse fate than what he did when his own scandal came into light.
After Thomas was his brother, William Daniel Hamilton ( who preferred to go by Daniel, and is referred to by Thomas as Daniel, as Publicly Speaking “William Hamilton” is a traitor to England, whereas Daniel Hamilton is simply – and shall always be – Thomas’ little brother ) who by 1715 was known better as Henry Davis, a notorious pirate harassing trade routes in the Bahamas.
Following Daniel is Anna Teresa. Following the scandal surrounding William, Alfred had Anna married off to Lord Cuthbert Langley. Her abrupt suicide followed within a year of the wedding and with it, Thomas was inducted to understanding the role Lord Langley played in Daniel’s exile.
In short: Langley heads those whose conspiracy Daniel uncovered. Alfred, in attempt to appease Langley and ascertain the family Hamilton would not be summarily destroyed by the much older and influential Langley peerage used Anna as collateral and bribery to remain in good graces. Due to Anna’s death, Alfred was forced to trade Thomas – or rather, Thomas’ influence over new age radicals and the more progressive voices in parliament.

It eventually becomes common for Thomas to receive letters from his brother-in-law encouraging him to enforce or support certain causes and ideologies, always under the emphasis that family ought to support one another. Needless to say, the very crest of the Langley family eventually becomes a rage trigger for Thomas, who sees all dealings with them to be ruinous and irresponsible.
Tabitha – a woman whose surname is unknown to Thomas and would likely be as false as the given one she had offered – was his solitary contact with Daniel, and how he managed to keep abreast of piratical affairs in the Bahamas better and more accurately than was often portrayed by publicists. She was killed on the day of his arrest, in consequence for attempting to afford him a window of escape. For this reason, much like James and Miranda, Daniel eventually comes to believe that Thomas committed suicide in Bedlam.

Mun Note: This is a long overdue commentary so – my bad. A lot of this has already been shared with my primary writing partners in regard to Vane, but it should probably be said and linked because it was supposed to be on his profile like, six months ago.

Firstly, although I do write Vane as bisexual I flatly refuse to at any point act as though his relationships with individuals in his canon storyline have any subtexts. As I stated very loudly in my approach to John Silver’s sexuality, I consider it a disservice to the very open discussions Black Sails has on shame and sexuality by openly exploring women who love women and men who love men by inserting commentary and analysing things to have a completely different narrative for the sake of a ship.

In short: While Vane may develop relationships with men in alternative storylines and through threading, I do not consider the canon narrative to provide any evidence toward my decision and interpretation of his sexuality – nor will I, at any point, attempt to push the idea onto anyone that anything said or done in the canon narrative has anything to do with romantic feelings.

Secondly, it should be noted that though Vane has a high sex drive and greatly enjoys fucking in general, he is generally a little wary of being treated like a human sized dildo. More often than not people will get away with it just because he really has a very low standard when it comes to how he expects to be treated in this case, but the more obvious it is to him that your interest in him only stems as far as he can physically satisfy you, the less likely it will be that he’s going to give a shit about anything you need outside of that particular relationship.

In short: Vane is not a dumb animal and it is abundantly clear to him when he is being used as a sex object. Simply because he doesn’t object doesn’t mean he isn’t aware and has not classified the relationship as purely sexual as a result. Purely sexual relationships with Vane mean he is not obligated to give a flying fuck about your opinion, politics, or feelings. While he will ensure that both parties leave satisfied physically, expecting more from him after engaging him like this is sheer folly.

Thirdly, everything with Vane is about exchanges – absolutely everything comes down in some way to a value transaction. Not all values are measured in coin – some are measured in aims and benefits of a more mercurial nature. As long as he believes that those aims remain in alignment and that the partnership is balanced, he will do all in his power to maintain that partnership and ensure that the other party benefits from his protection.

However when it is made clear to him that the balance has shifted, and that his needs and aims are no longer being accounted for, he will address it – and no amount of manipulative bullshit will change the truth. Crossing Vane by going back on a deal never ends well, especially if that deal involves sexual intimacy. He takes it very goddamn personally, and will respond in a manner that is quite personal as a result – he can be very petty when he is enraged, and it never does well to forget that he is an extremely dangerous man.

In short: Vane is a hedonistic creature. When he wants sex, he has no issue procuring it from somewhere. So if he is maintaining a committed sexual relationship with someone, guaranteed it has absolutely nothing to do with the sex part and everything to do with some other transaction in play. As the only time it has happened is on Discord, I cannot say if it is guaranteed, but that transaction can be as simple as a sense of emotional safety – the sex is simply part of that exchange, though Vane would have a harder time quantifying that in words. And I do have a canon example that goes with all this transaction shit but its going under a cut because it involves Cursed Things That I Hate A Lot.

So with Eleanor, the transaction was that in exchange for his protection, the removal of Blackbeard and the power of his name, she would in turn establish for Nassau the legitimacies required to make her sustainable long term. When it became clear that she had no intentions of maintaining her end of the bargain and was instead fully determined to treat him as an obstacle toward her goals as opposed to a partner in achieving them, he was viciously clear in his opinion of this betrayal. Had there been no sexual component, his displeasure would have meted itself out a little less drastically – but no less effectively.

As I will probably never remember to write up the whole spiel on it and I have yelled about it enough with my partners, the TL;DR for Vane and Eleanor was they made a deal and Vane made a choice. He believed in her ability to obtain what he wanted and so he turned on a man he otherwise had no reason to challenge, and saw the success of Nassau as the price for his own betrayal. He refused to give up on Eleanor for so long because without her he did not believe his intentions would be manageable, and without her his sacrifice of Teach would amount to nothing, which was something he could not abide.

Sex between them was always manipulative on her part, and he was not blind to that fact, but so long as it seemed their goals were aligned there was little he would not offer her. When it became clear their paths had diverged, and her betrayals became insurmountable, Vane had little issue burning the bridge because it was never about love between them – it was a transaction, and his sacrifices on the table were massive. He needed her, and he put his chips down – that’s on him. She failed him – that’s on her.