pls give friendly advice — my upstairs neighbours are either doin the do or they recently purchased a particularly verbose parrot

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Uhm….ew. While generally speaking I just utilize headphones in cases like this, sometimes if it gets too annoying I have been known to ah. Participate. 

Grab a broom, or stand on a chair with something that can make a good loud bang, and whollop your roof three or four times, then scold them. 

If you know their number, use caller block and call them. Either hang up and do this until they give up or, be real assertive and inform them that the whole neighborhood is not interested in listening to their sex tape, please turn it down. Bonus: If in an apartment you can also do this by simply going downstairs and buzzing them til they answer.

Shame is not exclusive to the 1700s.

homie is saw your thread title ‘friendly advice’ and i was like IM SO READY FOR FRIENDLY ADVICE FROM HOMIE but then halfway through i realized i was reading a thread and not advice BUT it’s okay because the thread was a delight to read!!!

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I mean – you are always welcome to hmu for friendly advice! I am sorry you have been semi-disappointed tonight but at least it turned out to be good shit anyway lmao. 

Bless ur face Meri, you are an utter delight.

Friendly Advice

@least-among-hamiltons continued from [x]

Charles didn’t know what to expect of this man of Flint’s, but as the words droned on he supposed it wasn’t at all surprising that he would turn out to be inherently similar. He spoke a great deal – and if his words were winds, they would surely fill sails. Unlike Flint, however, he lacked the ability to captivate, to push those sails into any particular direction – causing them to fall flat despite all the blustering. 

He certainly had a lot to fucking say about nothing at all worth hearing, at any rate.

“You know,” Charles did not deign to uncross his arms, maintaining his unimpressed position propped against the doorframe and observing Hamilton from a distance, “There are a few men on this island that fancy themselves storytellers – men who inspire with their words, to rouse others to do things they might never think of.” 

Straightening, he unfolded his arms and set his hands idly at his sides as he stepped over, coming to rest them against the back of a chair. “I’m going to recommend you leave the talking to them.” It was perhaps difficult to tell with the raspy quality of his voice that these words lacked any malice – but in truth, Charles felt this to be genuinely thoughtful advice as opposed to any direct insult – and perhaps in anticipation of the presumption he was directing an assault, he went so far as to elaborate himself, which was not something he extended often.

“You assume that your history makes you bigger than you are – all you just did was illustrate why no man here should trust you, though I think you were aiming for the opposite effect. Best then, to learn how to navigate before trying to lead, wouldn’t you agree?”     

[Sentence Starters] Galavant S01

rp-grannies:

Feel free to add context, change pronouns, names, jobs, and anything else you need to change to make these work for you! Have fun! ^-^  

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  • ❝ True love was never this ecstatic, nor as wildly acrobatic! ❞
  • ❝ In a few moments we shall marry, and you will instantly become the richest, most powerful woman in the land. ❞
  • ❝ Tonight, you will join me in my bed. ❞
  • ❝ Your family has killed the last four generations of chefs in my family… It’s not a great job. ❞
  • ❝ I want to liberate his head from his neck and then punt the bloody wreck sky high. ❞
  • ❝ When he tells me to fetch, those are my favorite moments. ❞
  • ❝ I come from a long family of lovers… You can’t fight genetics. ❞
  • ❝ You’ve been screaming like a castrated hyena for the past 10 minutes. ❞
  • ❝ Can we swap horses? Yours looks so much softer. ❞
  • ❝ Never start a marriage with a kidnapping. Promise me that right now. ❞
  • ❝ If you want your wife to respect you, you’ve gotta earn her respect. ❞
  • ❝ It’s 1256. The ‘your mama’ jokes, they’re getting really old. ❞
  • ❝ Any man can get knocked down. The hero is the man who gets back up. ❞
  • ❝ Pick up your sword. ❞
  • ❝ King Dick’s not gonna know what hit him. ❞
  • ❝ So we’re eating the rooster or are we keeping the rooster? Because if we’re eating the rooster, I’m not naming him. ❞
  • ❝ You’re frigid and demanding, I shudder at your call. ❞
  • ❝ Whenever you come near me, my flesh begins to crawl. ❞
  • ❝ Maybe you’re not the worst thing ever. ❞
  • ❝ You’re unlovable, (Name). ❞
  • ❝ My people will treat you like a Princess. ❞
  • ❝ I know we’ve had our ups and downs. I mean, just days ago you made me cry so hard I could barely breathe. ❞
  • ❝ Your son with an ‘o’ was my sun with a ‘u’. ❞
  • ❝ I trained in monologues, not poetry! ❞
  • ❝ We need to find more activities we can do together. ❞
  • ❝ He’s a [BLEEP], you [BLEEP] things up, [BLEEP] you in the [BLEEP] chair with the [BLEEP] and knees [BLEEP] is taking it [BLEEP] out that on [BLEEP]. ❞
  • ❝ All you need to be pirates is a dark heart and a wicked disregard for other people’s lives. ❞
  • ❝ It would be mondo satisfying to cut your face off and sew it back on inside out. ❞
  • ❝ Did I just cut your hand? ❞
  • ❝ Where are you going? It’s time for four-o-clock-fool-around. ❞
  • ❝ If you’re developing a conscience, then you’re of no good to me. ❞
  • ❝ Please stop talking. ❞
  • ❝ My God, just get a room, you two. ❞
  • ❝ Sorry. I don’t always listen when you talk. ❞
  • ❝ I ate my feelings. And a lot of bread. ❞
  • ❝ I’m going to conquer and kill, and spread bastard children throughout the land like wildflower seeds. ❞
  • ❝ Where’s that bloody door? ❞
  • ❝ Well, how the Hell are we supposed to get up there? ❞
  • ❝ Now, I know you’re not a hugger, but if you were? I would wrap myself around you like a leather jacket mode of love. ❞
  • ❝ Stop being dumb, take the offer to be my shag hag. ❞
  • ❝ I don’t like it when men touch my face. ❞
  • ❝ You have a very bleak view of the world. ❞
  • ❝ Let’s spike the soup with some arsenic. ❞
  • ❝ If you eat that last danish, I will reach down your throat, pull it out, and beat you to death with it! ❞
  • ❝ Die, swine! Rot in Hell! ❞
  • ❝ Your breath reminds me of the time I found my uncle’s body in a well. ❞
  • ❝ Speaking to you is one of my favorite things to do. ❞
  • ❝ Sure, I’ll kidnap a woman and force her to marry me, but after that? I’m all about a woman’s rights. ❞
  • ❝ I’m going to kill my brother! Drinks are on me! ❞
  • ❝ Ah, you’re so pretty, but not just your face, your brain. It’s like your beautiful brain exploded all over your face. ❞

[Sentence Starters] The Prince of Egypt (1998)

rp-grannies:

Feel free to add context, change pronouns, names, jobs, and anything else you need to change to make these work for you! Have fun! ^-^

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  • ❝ Faster, you beasts! ❞
  • ❝ How’d you like your face carved on a wall? ❞
  • ❝ You almost killed me! ❞
  • ❝ Admit it; you’ve always looked up to me! ❞
  • ❝ Second born, second place! ❞
  • ❝ You don’t think we’ll get in trouble for this, do you? ❞
  • ❝ Why do the Gods torment me with such reckless, destructive, blasphemous sons? ❞
  • ❝ I seek to build an empire, and your only thought is to amuse yourself by tearing it down. ❞
  • ❝ Have I taught you nothing? ❞
  • ❝ You will never have to carry a burden like the crown I will pass to (Name). ❞
  • ❝ Just go away. ❞
  • ❝ You ARE rather pathetic. ❞
  • ❝ Irresponsible, ignorant of the traditions- he practically accused me of bringing down the dynasty. ❞
  • ❝ Why is it that every time YOU start something, I’M the one that ends up in trouble? ❞
  • ❝ You’ll pay for this. ❞
  • ❝ Father will KILL me. ❞
  • ❝ Nobody will even notice us coming in. ❞
  • ❝ I suggest you get over there and thank your father. ❞
  • ❝ Please, I need water. I have a long journey ahead of me. ❞
  • ❝ I didn’t expect to see… you… HERE, of all places, at-at-at our door. ❞
  • ❝ (Name), you want us flogged? ❞
  • ❝ I knew you cared about our freedom. ❞
  • ❝ Be careful, slave! ❞
  • ❝ I know who you are. ❞
  • ❝ You are our brother! ❞
  • ❝ Sometimes, for the greater good, sacrifices must be made. ❞
  • ❝ Everything I thought… Everything I am, is a lie. ❞
  • ❝ You are our son, and we love you. ❞
  • ❝ Fate has turned out little misadventure into a great opportunity. ❞
  • ❝ (Name), what’s going on? ❞
  • ❝ You saw what happened. I just killed a man. ❞
  • ❝ Nothing you can say will change what I’ve done. ❞
  • ❝ If I say day is night, it will be written! ❞
  • ❝ You will be what I say you are. ❞
  • ❝ All I’ve ever known to be true is a lie! ❞
  • ❝ I’m not who you think I am. ❞
  • ❝ What are you girls doing? ❞
  • ❝ You’ve cleaned every inch of me- WHOA, I– I was wrong. ❞
  • ❝ You have been sent as a blessing. ❞
  • ❝ Tonight, you shall be my honored guest. ❞
  • ❝ I’ve done nothing in my life worth honoring. ❞
  • ❝ It seems you do not know what is worthy of honor. ❞
  • ❝ Dance with me! ❞
  • ❝ It’s too early for this. ❞
  • ❝ Take off the sandals on your feet, for the place on which you stand is holy ground. ❞
  • ❝ What do you want with me? ❞
  • ❝ You’ve- you’ve chosen the wrong messenger. ❞
  • ❝ How can I even speak to these people? ❞
  • ❝ I will stretch out my hand… and smite Egypt with all my wonders. ❞
  • ❝ You are just one man. ❞
  • ❝ Well, look at you. What on Earth are you dressed as? ❞
  • ❝ In my heart, you are my brother. ❞
  • ❝ Things cannot be as they were. ❞
  • ❝ Behold, the power of God. ❞
  • ❝ (Name), look. What do you see? ❞
  • ❝ I will not be the weak link! ❞
  • ❝ How does it feel when YOU get struck to the ground? ❞
  • ❝ I didn’t mean to cause you more pain. ❞
  • ❝ When did God start caring about any of us? ❞
  • ❝ You shame yourself. ❞
  • ❝ Hear what I say. ❞
  • ❝ God will not abandon you… So don’t you abandon us. ❞
  • ❝ You cannot keep ignoring us. ❞
  • ❝ I’ve indulged you long enough. This must now be finished. ❞
  • ❝ I hoped I would find you here. ❞
  • ❝ Get out! ❞
  • ❝ Please, talk to me. We could always talk here. ❞
  • ❝ This place… so many memories. ❞
  • ❝ The priests thought it was a horrible omen and fasted for two months. ❞
  • ❝ No Kingdom should be made on the backs of slaves. ❞
  • ❝ I will not be dictated to. I will not be threatened. ❞
  • ❝ Please, let go of your contempt for life before it destroys everything you hold dear. ❞

What are Loki’s favourite foods(in this/previous time periods, let’s keep it fair)? Is there any food he particularly dislikes? Is there a type of food he’s grown tired of by this point in history? How does he feel about Midgardian food vs Asgardian food?

Honestly Loki’s tastes are rather eternal, which is for the best all things considered. He has a deep adoration for anything that is tart and even sour – be it as the primary flavor or an accent. He also loves spicy food in general – he is big on flavorful meals, and enjoys things that have kick. 

As Midgard does not have – quite as an intense variety of fruits, he has been known to do things that humans find alarming and disconcerting ( such as eating a lemon in much the same way anyone else would take to an orange ) but for the most part, he tends to be fond of fruits and fresh meats, cheese and bread. This is something about him that never really changes with the times.

He has – something of an aversion to eating certain types of animals, which actually has to do with his genuine kinship toward them as opposed to taste. He will not eat deer or elk – though moose makes for wonderful sport. He will not eat anything canine, corvid or serpentine. This includes eels. Too close to home. 

Asgardian food is superior in nearly all aspects. If any place could be counted as on par with Asgard, Loki would be more likely to look to India than to Norway. That said, he enjoys Midgardian food well enough that he rarely has complaints.

Edward gonna hand this man a slice of mango. Shhh don’t ask how he got it.

“What’s this?” He asked, accepting what he could tell was fruit, but not recognizing it. He gave Edward a questioning look, before popping it into his mouth – if it turned out to be sour, he’d –

It was not sour.

His eyes widened slightly as the flavor fully registered, and he looked away, smiling a bit as he finished it off. Once he’d swallowed he looked back and remarked, “Now you have to tell me.” That was delicious – why had he never heard of it before?

Also, does Mr. Darcy enjoy the berries and bread together, or separate? Does he pair beverages with his snacks?

Sometimes, yes. He prefers jams on his bread rather than simply bread and berries, but he has been known to pilfer bread from the kitchen before going on a ride, and has from time to time simply sat himself in the wilderness and eaten berries he found himself while enjoying the loaf and a quiet moment of relaxation. 

Generally speaking if a drink is paired with his food it is done for him, as he notoriously forgets to order one. When he does remember, it is generally tea.