intolerablexsacrifice:

~

_{He supposed it made sense, given Theodore’s other unusual traits: there was a certain kind of logic to accompanying a tactile nature with the unabashed civility and kindness Theodore had treated his new crewmates with thus far. The young man wasn’t the only person on the ship inclined to such touching, either, not by a long shot- the difference was that he had touched Flint.}

_{In itself, it wasn’t unpleasant. The startling, Flint felt, was only natural. It was the other thing that bothered him- the strangeness of being touched, the way the sensation lingered like his body wanted to keep it in memory for as long as possible. It had nothing to do with Theodore himself and everything to do with a more general sense of physical deprivation Flint had thus far tried to avoid acknowledging in himself.}

_{Then there was the question of authority, and what the rest of the crew might think of their captain being shifted aside by Theodore, of all fucking people. That felt far less significant than the rest of it- but it was more comfortable to think about.}

_{“That’s certainly one way of putting it.”} 

_{Flint was not just watching him now, but observing. There was a suspicious look to the mismatched eyes, piercing and unyielding. Theodore had not drawn outright attention to Flint’s reaction, and that was a mercy- there wasn’t a chance in Hell he hadn’t noticed how badly the captain had startled.} 

_{Flint did not yet know what to make of that.}

_{“The men on this ship are accustomed to keeping their guard up at all times, Mr. Groves. Things like that-” He nodded to the man himself, though referring to his actions. “-are far more likely to be interpreted as an attempt at reaching for a man’s sword or pistol than an innocent attempt at moving them aside.” Then, lightly- “A warning in advance might diffuse that possibility.”}

Theodore shifted the rope in his hands and – though his posture made it clear he was still listening in the way he remained angled toward the captain – began the process of reeling it down to aid the man on the other side performing the same action. The shift in his role aboard a ship had been sudden, but a body did not forget the labour simply because it had not been tasked with it in some time. 

That he had a role at all here was something he took both seriously and with great gratitude – he knew he owed what work he performed to Flint’s decree, and that was not something he meant to forget any time soon. What interested him the most though, was the fact the man seemed inclined to think he was still fearsome to a man who was presently profiting from his sense of honor and mercy.

Wrapping the rope as Flint concluded his lesson, Theodore considered his answer carefully. There were many things he could say here – some wise, some simply respectful of the situation – but in the end he could only say that which felt the most true to himself. The captain deserved to know what kind of man he now had in his employ, for better or worse, and it wasn’t in Theodore’s nature to shroud himself in secrets and lies, or actions that were more wise than they were honest.

“That is true of men aboard every ship, captain. It is not unique to the Walrus, or even to pirates.” Theodore knew pirates were rarely the monsters papers made them out to be – too many men were pressed into service, too many were exposed to tyrannical captains, too many were robbed of honest wages – for that to possibly be true. It was not uncommon for a man to go on the account and find his way back into legitimate business — if they were monsters, how then, could they return to being men so easily?

Concluding his work, Theodore set the now coiled rope to the deck and turned to face Flint squarely, elbows leaning against the balustrade of the deck as he considered him thoughtfully. “If I were to live in fear that every touch could mean a pistol, I would consign myself as other men do and never touch at all. I’d rather risk the shot, than live my life with that much inconvenience. Besides,” He pointed out, smiling softly, “It doesn’t always end that way — and for those odds, it seems worthwhile to maintain my usual behaviour as opposed to altering myself to suit the comforts of those around me.”