“Oh that’s what all the closeness was about,” Theodore had wondered – and it wasn’t as though he hadn’t been intimidated before, it was just generally speaking there was cause for it. As far as he was concerned he hadn’t done anything to warrant the need to threaten him – he was, after all, quite devoted to Captain Flint and his cause, so it wasn’t like he was going anywhere.
“I am so sorry,” He sounded genuinely contrite too, because he did know how important a man’s reputation was, especially when said man was notorious as his captain, “I completely missed it, but I’ll be sure to appear properly cowed if you need me to. I was going to do what you said either way, really.”
“I was not questioning that, so much as who decides what the greater good is at any particular moment,” Theodore returned, finally lowering the letter he was perusing. “When every one man has a different concept of what constitutes the greater good, how do you know you are serving the greater good and not another man’s ambitions?”
“There is still time to run, if that suits you.” The words do not come from a point of malice or mockery – in fact, Theodore sounds understanding of the idea. He knows full well that this is a fight that will not end well, but such odds were not strange to him, either. He was not afraid of what was to come – for it would be a great adventure no matter how it ended, however bitter the fight itself may be.
However, not everyone saw things that way – in fact, Theodore knew full well that the way he looked at the world was queer and maybe even broken, somehow. He saw no reason why Silver should stay, if he felt this fight held a foregone conclusion he had no wish to bear witness to. Bravery was entirely subjective to perspective, after all.
“Oh, I am not sure that is entirely true,” Theodore argued thoughtfully, “I think there is a very large difference between worshipping something, and coveting it. I do not doubt that the godless covet many things – but then, that could be said of the god-fearing just as surely. I think there are very few people in this world who truly worship much of anything, honestly. It’s more about fear and power than it is about faith, in my findings.”
“Were I here with the intent to kill you ma’am, I am sure your words would be of little concern to me, as there is little use for metaphor and hope in the eyes of England.”
A voice inside his head that sounded suspiciously like Gillette saw fit to point out that wasn’t a very patriotic thing to say, but the facts were the facts. When it came to piracy and all that it represented, most especially the hope, England saw only a threat – and anything England considered a threat, she took every ardent effort to destroy.
“Thankfully for both of us,” He pressed on pleasantly, “I have no intention of killing anyone any time soon, if its all the same to you.”
The tugging on his shirt sleeves stills him, and after a brief time finding himself brusquely adjusted, he could not help but smile. “I’ve gotten too comfortable among the crew, I think.” He had not lost his naval discipline by any stretch – rather, he recognized the fact that adhering to it when he needed to appeal himself to pirates would not be at all endearing, and so he had endeavored to relent in certain areas that were more immediately notable, to make it easier for them to accept him. Now, it came without thought – though he supposed there were limits to it. “Thank you,” He offered, making a note of what the captain preferred, so he might be able to replicate it consistently.
“Damn,” Frustration didn’t even begin to describe how he was feeling as he caught himself on another man, gripping firm arms automatically to keep himself from pitching face first into the sand. “Sorry,” Letting go quickly, he held up his hands placatingly, “Still uh – getting used to being on land. Been awhile.” That was a complete lie – this was his second time on land ever and he he absolutely hated it. Nevertheless, he knew better than to say that.
“Name’s Derek,” He offered his hand now, when it seemed clear he wasn’t going to get into a damn brawl over it – there was no telling in this place, unfortunately.
He has grown accustomed to Flint’s presence – having sought it out himself, Theodore can only presume the man found some sort of solace in the closeness now that he registered it as permissible. It was interesting to note though, that as the crew seemed to distance itself all the more from the captain, the man himself seemed drawn closer still. It was difficult to tell if he had always been comfortable this close, or if it was simply more notable, now that everyone else was so keen on being as far away as possible.
The remark, when it came, draws Theodore’s gaze from the book in his hand, and he is thoughtful a moment before pointing out simply, “The world is full of tension. You can either freeze up, or continue to move freely through it – personally, I have never been a fan of stiffness in day to day matters, so I prefer to simply behave normally whether those around me are capable of doing the same or not.”
Closing his book, Theodore leaned back, smiling a little as he confessed, “When it becomes a problem for me, I will address it – but for now, these concerns and frustrations are not something that really involve me. What purpose does it serve to allow my own humors to be set out of alignment over something that won’t shift my position either way?”
Adaptable though he surely was, Theodore would be the first to confess that he was not the sort of person who was used to loneliness. There was always someone to lean on – and having never been in a position where he was thoroughly isolated, he’d never saw need to test his capacity for striving onward without companionship.
Though he had never thought of it ( and likely would not, until someone saw fit to point it out ) Theodore had chosen a profession that would ensure he would always be surrounded by a sense of family. A brotherhood as opposed to the sisterhood he came up in, if one wished to wax poetically upon it.
Going from first lieutenant aboard a ship with over eight hundred souls, to a pirate of circumstance aboard a far smaller vessel with absolutely no connections or allies ought to have been terrifying – but Theodore had seen the adventure for what it was and thrown himself into the work as though he had chosen to be there all along.
He had made a few friends among the crew, even, but there was no denying he’d made a favorite of the captain himself. Some likely saw it as pandering, or some method of payment for his place aboard the ship, but such manipulative measures were rather beyond Theodore. He felt a gratitude toward Flint for setting him free, and for giving him work, but he had felt gratitude toward many people he would not be so keen to lean on as he was the quiet man beside him now.
In truth, it was simply a familiarity – Flint had a grumpy and reticent air about him, but he was gradually accepting of contact and seemed to thrive from it, though nothing about that was ever said or acknowledged. It reminded Theodore a great deal of how Daniel used to be, and that alone was encouragement enough to maintain his quiet favoritism – for if Flint was anything like Daniel, he surely needed kindness a very great deal, even if he’d never ask for it, let alone admit to wanting it.
The silence was companionable, and Theodore maintained it even when he noticed something he felt might be of interest to Flint. Patting the man’s arm lightly, he pointed toward the forms rising above the crest of the water, spray indicating their exact positions. Theodore wasn’t sure how many – he could count five, for certain, but there seemed to be smaller forms that were harder to make out in the growing dimness as the sun settled toward the last of its rays for the day.
Although this has been mentioned to @tidefated, it occurs to me I never actually posted it. Derek’s situation is an extremely unique one – up until Buford’s interference in his life, he had never once set foot on land. His first actual experience of it was not until shortly before his lieutenant’s examination – and he needed a great deal of help getting his legs under him.
He walks in a mincing fashion on land and is no more comfortable there than a bird of prey. Aside from his lieutenant’s examination, he has since managed to stay aboard and avoid going to shore – so he has not developed any land balance whatsoever.
This will be especially notable in his Black Sails verse, which is the only one which features Derek in a situation where he would be forcibly landbound for an extended period of time – for the first time in his life, no less.
Ocean Archive 