Tag: standing outside a world i am part of ( verse )

A Safe Harbor

@intolerablexsacrifice continued from [x]

The laugh had been nice – and any other day, any other moment – Thomas would have committed it to memory, and made note to headbutt his lieutenant more often, until the edge of nerves that hinged along the edges of the sound fell away. As it was, his own nerves kept him from doing anything more than seeking the tactile comfort he needed, and praying it would not be asking too much of his reserved and circumspect friend. 

He could feel the discomfort radiating off James, and he had enough grace in him that he might have risen, apology falling listlessly from his lips – but as it was, a hand rose and settled on his back, and in an instant any shame that might have pulled him away from the warmth and comfort of his lieutenant was completely dashed. 

Pressing his face into the crook of the man’s neck, resting where the curve of his shoulder rose, Thomas was grateful for the cravat that barred the heat of his sigh, for it was not his intention to seek anything here but an embrace. A sense of comfort and security as the world swayed beneath his feet. 

“I will be,” He assured after a moment, “I just need some time to remember how to breathe on my own.” His own hand came up then, resting flat against the stiff fabric of the other man’s coat and shifting just a bit, as if to cling on to him but possessing just enough wit not to. “I trust – you won’t mind helping me, until I do?” 

It wasn’t often he asked permission for small changes in their routine – but this was not small – and he knew it. Even if James didn’t fully understand, it was momentous enough it required some – form or shape of consent before Thomas allowed himself to succumb entirely to the upsetting emotions rotting within him.

[ @ T.Ham ] 🐕 Rest their head on my muse’s knee

{ Nonverbal Starters }

It had been a ridiculously trying day – and in truth, Thomas had not thought there would be anything that could calm his overall frustrations until the very moment James all but fell over and rested against his knee. In an instant, the angry energy swirling inside of him bled away, and the need to be absolutely still fell upon him instead. 

To be a safe harbor for this man took immediate precedence – and perhaps that should have been a warning to him, a sign of the power this man would eventually hold over him. As it was, Thomas positioned his arm against the arm of the chesterfield and rested his head within the palm of his own hand as the other arm came to rest loosely over James, anchoring him in silence and making it clear, without a word, that they were fine. Regardless of the disaster of the day – like this, behind closed doors with only Miranda to find them, they were just fine.

[London era @ T.Ham] There are only so many condescending remarks from Rich Lords With Opinions On Him that McGraw can take, be they praising or otherwise. At some point he’d snapped–subtly, with a quip too scathing to be fully joking–and his gut had clenched, but he had neither apologised nor averted his eyes in submission. By the time he found himself alone with Thomas in the evening, he was all but seething. “–how do you /stand/ them?” He asked bitterly, then too late, added, “–my lord?”

Thomas had been keeping an eye on the lieutenant for more of the evening than was precisely proper – but in truth, he had been preparing for a moment exactly like this. Both he and Miranda had been in silent agreement that they would not speak up on McGraw’s behalf until he did so himself – at which point, they would be well beyond reproach for stepping in and quashing such remarks at future engagements. 

When it did happen, his heart had swelled with pride for the way McGraw held his chin up, daring anyone to challenge him for such willful commentary. It was not the greatest opening, but it was a large enough one that Thomas and his wife had room to maneuver as their guests were leaving, to subtle lay the reminder that McGraw was their guest as surely as they were, and was to be treated as such. 

Eventually, the room was mostly cleared, with only their dearest friends still in the parlor with Miranda, granting Thomas a free moment to excuse himself and address their fuming lieutenant before he gave himself an apoplexy. Securing them in his office, Thomas found himself temporarily startled by the outburst, but not so much that he could not recover swiftly. 

“I tolerate them because I must, James,” Thomas was not about to fall back on formality now of all times. He had worked too hard to wear the lieutenant down to referring to him by his given name to surrender it now on account of his idiotic companions. Society chose his counterparts as surely as he did, an unfortunate truth Thomas had learned to stomach long ago. “You, however, are in no such position.”

Stepping over to the man, Thomas unconsciously tended to the man’s nerves as Miranda would manage his own, reaching up and gently straightening his lapels in a quiet reminder that appearance was everything, and so long as we looked our part, what we did behind closed doors – who we were beyond the mask – would remain safe. 

“I will never fault you for excusing yourself, or making your own opinions known. You are as much my associate as they are – whether they like it or not,” He assured firmly, laying his palms soothingly upon the man’s chest now, and simply gazing down into his eyes in the hopes of impressing upon the lieutenant how intently he meant this. “I value your stances James – and if anyone in my parlor is making you feel like you don’t belong there, that is as much my failing as it is theirs.” 

“Oops!” | Cutler to Thomas

{ Random Oopsies }

17. Your character walking in on mine having an embarrassing fall.

Pushing himself up from the floor after a rather horrific tumble down a blessedly short flight of stairs, Thomas stilled as he noted a pair of polished shoes – upon which the wig which had flown from his head and likely slid across the polished wood had come to settle. 

Flushing furiously with embarrassment, Thomas brought himself to his feet to face whom he would have to apologize to on account of his own misfortune. The sight of the young upstart from the EITC made him want to swallow his tongue entirely and feign far greater injury than that which he had actually attained solely to avoid this particular encounter, but in the end he grit out that which polite society dictated, and even managed to paint on a smile in the process.

Miranda, at least, would be proud of him for not simply storming out of the building and returning home in a right state.

“Forgive me – I’m afraid I lost my footing.” 

“A charming invitation, but I fear I must decline.” [ @ t.ham, london era ! ]

{ The Pirate Chase Starters }

image

“Oh,” Thomas swiftly strangled his sense of disappointment at the dismissal – it wasn’t so much that he expected lieutenant McGraw to always be at his beck and call, but rather that he had grown rather accustomed to him over recent weeks and had hoped that they might be able to continue on their conversations over dinner. 

Miranda had seemed certain that the man would be receptive to such an invitation, so perhaps there truly was some other engagement at play – it simply wasn’t in his experience that refusals were ever just due to bad timing. He smiled regardless, and fell upon the prescribed response for such situations as these. “Perhaps another time then.”  

“I don’t see how anyone could argue with such a sensible plan.” [ @ t. ham, james is being a Low-Key Sarcastic Bastard (a sarcastard, if you will) ]

{ The Pirate Chase Starters }

“James,” Thomas’ tone was painfully mild, which by this point of knowing one another ought to indicate to the lieutenant that he was utterly exhausted and reaching a point where he may excuse himself and doubtless return to argue this point again in the morning unless what came next proved itself utterly scintillating, “If you’ve some complaint you would like to lodge, or some better idea that has been overlooked, please be frank about it.”