{ Shit To Say Meme }

Abigail supposed in some ways, the nerves that Mister McGraw could exhibit were quite charming, especially when one considered precisely what he was capable of. She wondered idly if perhaps he had forgotten the core bond between them, how deeply ensnared it was in his fate and that of Mister Hamilton’s, but in the end she supposed it didn’t matter. So long as he allowed his fear to cage him like this, there would be no hope for happy endings.

“You’re Captain Flint – or have you forgotten that part of yourself, holed up here all alone with your fear and your sadness for so long?” Rising to her feet, Abigail paced the small confines of the earthbare kitchen floor, agitation in the flick of her wrist through the air, cutting across all interruption as her other hand found purchase at her hip while she strode along, expounding on her point. 

For good or for ill, surrender was not a look that suited this man and she was quite through with bearing witness to it. “It’s been nearly a decade or more – certainly I cannot account for feelings held so dear, let alone the sort which have accumulated the grief and guilt that these carry – but has it not occurred to you in your isolation that maybe the reason he doesn’t come is because he doesn’t know how? Think of it from his perspective for a moment!”

She turned, finally facing him, “While you were out here fighting and waging war on account of his memory, he was toiling day and night, surviving on the hope that you and his wife were happy. But you’re not – you weren’t then and you certainly aren’t now – and the man you became isn’t the one he remembers, anymore than he is the man who you loved all those years ago! Did it ever occur to you that maybe he is just as frightened as you are, and as long as you hide away in this house, pushing him away because he ran from the enormity of it all, neither one of you will ever get to stop being afraid?” 

She caught herself then, realizing she had no place in this business and looked away. “You never once struck me as a man who would run from his problems. When I met you, not even the entire force of England could hold you back. Fear was the last thing in this world that could cripple you – to see it doing so now? It’s actually quite horrible.” And was it any wonder that people were worried, because of it?

{ Human Contradiction Starters }

Abigail could not help but marvel at how similar captain Flint could be to her father sometimes. In moments like these – when he spoke of shaping the world – she could not think of him as Mister McGraw, let alone as simply James. There was a softness to the former – a sadness that had no desire to change the world, so much as a wish to know how to live in it with all the pieces that were missing.

While the latter seemed to be her friend more often than not, a man who was both sad and angry – who was the core of both Flint and McGraw – there was something in the tone today that seemed as though the scales were tipped closer to Flint, than to the man she had come to consider herself close to. 

“Even if you could have – nothing bends itself out of shape like that for too long. The pressure is too immense, when the changes are so drastic. Eventually the world would be bound to snap itself back into place – likely flinging you out of it in the process,” She mused, thinking of a tree branch pulled back too far, or a bowstring held too tightly – the swiftness with which those things realigned themselves, and the way in which dewdrops and arrows were flung far afield in the wake of it. 

Shuffling her feet so they were better tucked under her dress, Abigail wrapped her arms around her legs and plopped her head on her chin. It was cold in the interior tonight, but quieter in his home than the one she’d been staying at. That had been part of the reason for her visit today, though she’d stayed because he seemed to be in odd spirits. Now, it was too dark for her to head back alone, and she had a feeling it would be better for him to have her stay tonight, if only so when he woke up, he would find another presence and his loneliness would not be able to drown him so.

“I for one am glad that you let go before that could happen. Though I suppose that’s selfish of me, in it’s own way.” He was a dear friend, but she understood that some part of him wished he had kept fighting, if only because to him, battle hurt less than being without the people he wanted most to have beside him.