What is Freedom Without You?

tidefated‌:

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Cutler’s smile was somehow sad and bewildered, as if he still could not believe she was really here before him, holding his hands in hers, and as if he didn’t understand how she could not see why he’d wanted the change, before. He bowed until he could press his forehead against his sister’s hands, eyes shut a moment as he tried to find the words he wanted.

“I’ve only just found you- before this… before this, certainly, I had freedom, but what did it matter? Was it even worth it, without you at my side?” He lifted his head, smiling, now, despite the wetness in his eyes. “A world without you in it was not a world worth anything, sister- but now that you are here I see nothing worth changing.”

Jane smiled softly, wanting to turn her hands and cup her brother’s face in them so that he might look at her  –  but in the end, there was no need to do so. His words were a familiar wound in her as well  –  a concern she had shared for many years and in moments when it was rather out of place to be so grief stricken. 

She could remember all too clearly the terrible, yawning pain inside of her when she first held each of her children, knowing that the most important person in her life before them would never have the chance to meet them. Unlike Cutler, she had people in her life  –  people who had loved her, had cared for her and believed in her. Yet even still she had been pained for the loss of him  –  so it made sense, in a terrible way, that he would see so little in the world worth anything without having even that much kindness in his life without her. 

“No more of this,” She decided softly, but firmly. “The world shall continue on as it is  –  and you and I shall master together our corner of it, and be content. For we have everything we could need now.” She gave his hands a squeeze before making the most daring of requests, “Would you come with me, Cutler? If I asked you to leave this war behind, and sail with me to France instead?”