what more is there than england ( horatio headcanons )

When Horatio first joined the Navy and boarded the Justinian, he wore on his person a cameo that was later torn off him by Jack Simpson – while I think I have written about this before, I cannot recall if I ever made an official post about it. Long and short of it though, is that was a cameo of his mother – and the only one.

After his ‘inquisition’ Simpson kept the cameo as leverage against Horatio, though never had opportunity to utilize it as a result of Horatio’s crafty measures to counter him – as a result, the one and only object Horatio had of his mother, and the only likeness of her he ever knew, was lost to him thanks to Simpson’s actions. With his death, Horatio in a way accepted the loss of that piece of himself, and of her – but he never forgave it.

This is a permanent starter call for Horatio Hornblower,

of Meridian Television’s 1998-2003 mini series,

Hornblower explicitly.

These calls give me a heads up on who is open to interacting with whom ( which is handy for those who have exclusives among my crew! ) and gives me an excuse to kick you starters whenever something crosses the mind, or blow up your inbox knowing who would be most wanted.

These calls also serve as a final tag dump – when this call is posted it indicates a character has been fully moved into the blog and is ready for action!

For other starter calls, check the tag HERE.

DISCLAIMER:

This headcanon concerns the pressure Horatio places on himself on account of his mother’s death – and more specifically, the blame he believes falls on his shoulders for being born and taking her life in exchange for his own.

It delves a little more deeply into the persistent belief he holds that all care he receives is conditional upon his performance, his warped sense of responsibility for coffins that do not belong on his conscience, further significance upon his locked-jaw syndrome and most importantly: what motivates him forward.

For the sake of my followers I wish to be abundantly clear that what lays below the cut is a very blunt examination of trauma that – while shedding enlightenment on Horatio’s particular behaviours, particularly his recklessness and the way he thrives beneath positive reinforcement – has every potential to be triggering.

Thematically, this post will gloss over elements / allusions to sexual assault and will openly discuss suicidal ideology and self destructive tendencies. If these elements disturb you, please do not read on.

Understand that these are things no character should have any business knowing without abundant discussion with me first – and frankly, Horatio entrusting them with it. These themes will not be brought into threads without adamant discussion between muns and if I feel that Horatio would become reflective of these themes, that the direction of the thread may throw him into a dangerous position I may need to drop it. I will not place my mental health on the line for these explorations, but it is worthy to note they exist and may result in threads being declined as I cannot see a way to maintain them without delving into an aspect of Horatio I may not feel comfortable getting into with that particular character, or even for myself.

Threads addressing Horatio’s struggles will not be taken on lightly and some may only come about if we are shipping. Most of this information is already known to @seafaired and @tidehearted, but as I will not be concealing any of our interactions it seems wise to lay it all out for everyone. Threads addressing these concerns will be abundantly tagged and kept under read more at my personal preference.

MOTIVATION:

“Duty”:

Although Horatio cites his duty as his primary motivation for action – any close examination of his actions reveals this to be frank bullshit. Were he half as duty bound as he claimed to be, he would not fly so fancy free with the Articles of War ( which he frequently flouts to the point of flagrant war crimes ) nor would he be so quick to snap at those well above himself such as members of peerage and even admiralty.

In truth, duty is what is expected of Horatio and therefore he wraps that word around himself like a cloak and observes the world around him, adapting to what he believes a dutiful person should be. He is motivated by his need to be a worthy man, to be someone deserving of life, and duty is supposedly the answer.

Those who are dutiful and loyal are seen as the pillars of society. Those who are diplomatic and prudent are valued not only by Geoffrey Hornblower, to whom Horatio feels he has the most to prove, but to the world as a whole. Possessing duty, then, is a Fundamental Aspect™ of being a Worthy Man™ and therefore Horatio acts as he believes a dutiful person should.

Key Word: Acts.

When the line between what is duty and what is morally right is drawn in the sand, Horatio invariably follows the path of his heart. He values human life more than he values following the Articles of War. He values human life before he cares about borders or countries or allies vs enemies. Life is life. And this way of thinking is treacherous in his line of work – it marks him rebellious, it marks him impudent, it marks him naive. None of these are marks Horatio wants. They are marks against him that he deplores.

He hates himself for caring, because it keeps him from being dutiful, which keeps him from being a Worthy Man™ He hates his inability to be diplomatic under pressure because it marks him as a disappointment, it marks him as failing, and yet there are times where nothing can keep him from speaking his honest truth; though this shall be covered more in Aggressive Outbursts.

Guilt:

This is a PTSD point, why in the hell is it under motivation, you ask? Because guilt is a powerful motivator, says I.

Horatio has nigh crippling depression that masks itself through routine. By following routine he can push past that gnawing, aching desire to lay down and refuse to get up. He lacked routine before joining the Navy and it did him no favors – he adores his work because it often keeps him too busy to remember why he is there. To remember that he joined the Navy because he believed they could transform him into a man worthy of the life he feels he has stolen.

When at his lowest points, Horatio lives for literally no other reason than to do something that was worth his mother dying for. Unfortunately, this guilt-motivator only compounds itself with time, starting with the death of the butler, and eventually the deaths of Clayton and Archie.

This causes Horatio to feel as though all he has done is rack up more debt against his unworthy life. He is constantly aching for death, every day, but he keeps marching, he gets up every day with the thought ‘I owe them’. I cannot die today – I am not the man they died for. I am not yet a man worth dying for. It’s time to get up. I cannot die and leave their lives in vain.

Unfortunately, as is the nature of such a negative motivation in a warzone and just in fucking general, ‘I owe it to them’ has times when it stops meaning ‘get up’ and starts meaning ‘stay down’. When this happens, he gets reckless – dangerously so – and his jaw will unlock more frequently. Horatio Hornblower will never take his own life, but there are days when he will do all in his power to make someone do him the favor instead.

Shame:

Horatio hates himself. And because Horatio hates himself, he cannot see why people would care about him, or why they would be loyal to him. He sees all care toward him as conditional because his own self loathing runs so deeply he believes that the moment anyone catches a glimpse of “who he really is” they will drop him like a stone.
While this has been a prevalent issue for him ever since his father first locked his jaw in regard to speaking out about being mistreated ( the men don’t cry / a gentleman never makes a scene thrashing he received as a child ) it grew steadily worse as Geoffrey reinforced, again and again, how everything that made Horatio human, everything that made him Horatio was in some way inherently flawed or wrong.

He was trained against expressing his emotions, his true thoughts – diplomacy being misconstrued as don’t speak – guarding one’s emotions being hounded as don’t feel – kindness being so viciously punished as to be construed as weakness – ever since he was a child. So it is small wonder, then, that he would be a ripe candidate for imposter syndrome.
Horatio elevates the chain of command because Title means Duty Done which means being one step closer to Worthiness. However every step up comes at the price of knowing he doesn’t belong there. Of seeing his weaknesses shine all the brighter, of being crippled, internally, by the terror of being revealed for the emotive tempest of contrary thought and opinion he truly is. Of being bared before anyone as the volatile fool who just plays at being worth his salt.

Worse still is the pressure he places upon himself to perform the impossible, to hold these roles and not just succeed, but excel, because to do anything less would be a black mark on all who have supported him. He would rather die than prove to be a black mark on the career of Edward Pellew; so he pushes himself to the brink, lest anyone ever guess that he doesn’t deserve even a quarter of what that man has done for him.

PTSD:

Aggressive Outbursts:

Horatio bottles his emotions and clamps his jaw down on what he really feels so often and for so long that eventually, he cracks. What is more is certain behaviours and remarks can cause him to lose control all the quicker because they hit too close to home or strike upon vulnerabilities that exist within him that he simply cannot bear.

Some outbursts can be wildly emotional and dangerously revealing – which is why he relies on the men of the Justinian ( Kennedy, Matthews, Styles ) the most – they have, by his estimation, seen him at his ‘weakest’ and granted him clemency on it. For this reason, he may reveal more of himself to them, simply to ease the pressure on his soul; they have the power to destroy him from the Justinian, so what is more?

In threads, Horatio may reveal his temper to test others. To see what boundaries he can push before he is snapped at – and this is a destructive, self sabotaging habit. He uses this especially against men he feels are better than him – because their response to being tested, shows him how he should respond ( and while he may feel he can never respond as they do, the knowledge helps him form greater understanding. ) Other times, he may simply break – though in these instances, it will be discussed, as this will invariably lead to the bleeding of damages like the draining of poison.

Fight vs Flight:

Horatio’s response to violence against him depends on three factors.

Duty: Action in the line of duty does not register to Horatio as a threat against his person. He responds to it as an attack on the people around him and he will not tolerate it. His focus is on doing everything in his power to win the fight and preserve as many of his people as possible. It is routine, to him. He has an intimate relationship with blood and injury as a doctor’s son; to him, battle is a time of focused, pinpoint exhilaration and energy.
Undeserved Assault: This is when Horatio cares about Horatio – which happens few and far between. This is when he is attacked and by no account, does he feel he has done anything to deserve this. His response is immediate, volatile retaliation and to do everything in his power to destroy his assailant. If this is not possible in the attack itself then he will connive a way to ruin them later.

Prime Example: Jack Simpson.
In my interpretation, Jack forced a kiss on Horatio – which may have turned into a far worse assault, had Horatio not interpreted this as unwarranted and promptly bit, and ripped at the man until blood exploded between them and Jack retaliated with a furious flurry of fists, the likes of which we see in That One Scene. Horatio’s only thought was he bleeds, therefore, he can die. Cue his attempt to duel the man, and his frustration when his own moral code would not let him kill the man when the chance did present itself.
Warranted Assault: This is when Horatio believes he has done something to deserve being struck out against – and this is his default response more often than not as he is inherently self destructive and quick to undervalue his own worth. He is also very quick to find fault in himself, so it is easy for him to apply blame when perhaps there truly is none.
When Horatio believes the punishment deserved he will not defend himself from the assault unless to not do so would place someone else at risk. He will take a punch, he will accept lashing without argument, without bitterness. If he feels he is in the wrong – even if he has a perfect defense – he will not take it, because he feels to do so is to make a scene of honest reprimand, and that he has been very well trained to never, ever do.

Prime Example: Mutiny / Retribution.
Horatio’s inability to keep silent in the face of injustice, in the face of unwarranted assault on an innocent, warrants him punishment from Sawyer; he accepts the punishment because he is duty bound to do so, but he is bitter, because while he recognizes it as deserved through the Articles, he feels he did the right thing. This is remarkable only because although he viewed Sawyer as a threat, he did not see him as the type of threat warranting the kind of violence Jack SImpson encouraged.

That said, Horatio’s habitual silence in the face of punishment could have cost his life; which we all know he doesn’t really value. However, it could have also cost the lives of Buckland, Bush, and Kennedy; thus, he fought, and defended his decisions in order to defend theirs. Had he been the only one involved, he would have hung himself on his own locked jaw.

Self Destructive Tendencies:

By this point it is perhaps abundantly obvious that Horatio self-sabotages himself – what we need to address though, is his recklessness because it is distinctly tied to both his sense of self worth and his determination to be Worthy. Horatio lacks a self preservation button – he will always value someone else before himself – but because he values the dead, who he feels deserve for him to be worth dying for, he doesn’t throw his life away needlessly.

Dying to save lives is a good thing! Dying so that others may live – was that not exactly the burden placed upon him by a good woman ( his mother ), by a man who did nothing wrong ( the butler ), by a good man ( Clayton ) by a good friend ( Kennedy ) And since Horatio believes his life to be meaningless but for the dead he owes, his death, therefore, places no burden upon anyone else. He dies, doing a good thing, and no one mourns. Life continues, the dead are appeased, and Horatio is at peace. This is his logic every time he does something phenomenally fucking insane, like board a flaming ship full of powder, heading for ships filled with yet more powder!

Challenging those he sees as better than himself – testing and learning in turns – is his way of punishing himself. His way of reminding himself he is not Worthy, and should the day come that these games, these learning exercises, lead him to his own death, he will grimly acknowledge the bitter truth he has fought so hard to improve since the day he understood his mother died, and he had lived unwanted and unwelcome in her stead:

He was, indeed, never worth dying for; and now, he never will be.

Triggers:

This is covered more in Final Notes, but it should be noted that outside of those specific circumstances, there are things that can set Horatio off the deep end pretty quickly.

Men taking liberties with women who are not interested ( Such as Moncoutant with Mariette ) will absolutely cause him to strike out, and no he does not give a flying monkey’s asshole if you’re a midshipman, a major, the goddamn King of England himself – he will say something, and damn the consequence of it.
Hi, he hates the peerage and the idea of purchased commission. Friendly reminder that Horatio’s sense of duty is a goddamn act – he doesn’t give a shit if you were born in a horse’s stall or shitting silver spoons – he will treat you the way you treat your inferiors if you piss him off and damn the consequences of it.

Having money doesn’t make you a leader.
Having noble blood doesn’t make you a noble person.
To quote some good emo shit, when the rich wage war it is the poor who die, and as much as he hates himself for seeing it, Horatio fucking well sees it and he bites his tongue against it as much as he can. He plays hard to the role of dutiful soldier, and in time he learns diplomacy, but harkening back to imposter syndrome, Horatio’s true thoughts could have him hung.

Certain behaviours of those who are of the peerage, of those who have paid their way to the top without doing a fucking thing to earn the power they hold over literal thousands of lives, of those who think more of glory and command than of life and human decency, can spark him off in a badly dangerous manner.

( See; yelling at Foster; see, giving Moncoutant a goddamn dressing down at his own fucking table; see contradicting Pellew the day he met the man. Articles of War be damned, Horatio’s respect is earned, never blindly given. However, once his respect is earned, once his loyalty is won – Horatio may not have duty in truth, but he has a willingness to prove himself that could bring a regime to its knees if someone with his loyalty asked it of him. For all he feels himself worth so little, he can find the world in good men, and give everything for them. )

Warped Sense Of Reality:

I think at this point it’s ?? Abundantly obvious but if you need more information on this feel free to hmu.

FINAL NOTE:

Horatio’s only real triggers are inherently couched in acts that do not take place outside of romantic engagements. As I will never write an active assault thread, the only chance of him experiencing an anxiety attack as a result of a kiss or anything more racy in nature is if it is planned with a shipping partner in order to open conversation about what occurred on the Justinian, and perhaps even what happened to him in prison, for the purpose of airing it and helping Horatio to overcome this piece of his past fully.

Such threads will be tagged liberally for obvious reasons. As both a survivor and once-upon-a-time counsellor, I don’t believe in hiding the recovery story, but I also refuse to glorify the abuse or shine a light on it that will damage someone else. I will be more than happy to ship with people who have no desire to see any sign of this aspect of Horatio; I have no problem claiming he had something positive prior to our ship that addressed and helped him recover – thus providing him the development he needs while sparing the need to actively deal with anything in a thread.

Alternatively, I am happy to have my shipping partner’s character be the one to assist Horatio in his recovery, without actually writing in a thread itself. I recognize the topic of recovery can be deeply mired and I am perfectly content to do what feels safe and comfortable for my partners. This is here, only to forewarn that with some partners these types of things may be covered more directly.

Now then, some further follow up on Horatio – I want to examine for a moment why a man who judges himself so harshly for weakness as Horatio does in turn relies upon a man the rest of the crew see only as a liability.

Horatio has never really had an opportunity to form friendships with many people – the most influential forces upon him during his formative years were his nanny, the butler and of course, Geoffrey Hornblower himself. He had contemporaries in his classes, but Horatio was generally more interested in his coursework than those around him – this did not change when he pursued higher education, and in truth he managed to lead something of a ghost life prior to the Navy.

Head bowed over a book, scribbling calculations – he was not known for politics or boisterousness and in truth, only really seemed to come alive during his piano studies. While there were people he admired and looked up to – overall he lead a very isolated existence. The brightest spots, in fact, being when he went with his nanny on her off days and assisted her at her secondary work, a school for children roughly his own age at first – then steadily younger as he grew and the classes exchanged.

Positive reinforcement was almost alien to him, recognized only through his nanny’s kindness and care. Horatio had a concept of friendship through his readings and observations, but he had never once experienced anything like it until he met Archie.

Archie, who was outgoing, friendly, and teasing in a good natured way the likes of which Horatio was unused to and genuinely befuddled by. Again, this is a young man – a teenager – who has spent the whole of his life being told not to make a scene, not to feel too boldly, not to be too kind, not to be – well, frankly – Archie.

Archie fascinated Horatio, but it wasn’t until he saw the effect Jack Simpson had on the man that Horatio gained – an understanding of his father’s lessons that was likely never once intended. Horatio recognized the potential he had, to be a man prone to fits of fear if he didn’t maintain his own level of control – and for a hot minute, he did see Archie as weak. He saw him as damaged, and as something not good – something which ought not be aspired toward.

And then Archie turned his whole world upside down.

Archie hung by him – the man took active measures to help Horatio in spite of his own terror. Nobody had ever in the whole of Horatio’s life ever faced a goddamn thing for him, let alone fear with a bright eyed smile and soft spoken advice. When Horatio’s challenges made Simpson’s behaviour worse, Archie didn’t drop him – he was there, conspiring side by side, backing him up in a challenge Horatio was ill prepared to face.

Archie showed Horatio that a man could be warm, and kind, and broken, and strong all at once. And he had no idea how to cope with this epiphany so he never really did. He simply saw Archie as a man unique, a man special, a man – above the laws of Worthy, and indeed – something to aspire toward. Without ever meaning to, Archie coaxed Horatio to consider kindness – and with it being so deep and natural within himself, Horatio did not have to reach too far.

Archie saw Horatio at a time Horatio considers to be his lowest; he saw him when Horatio was, by his own estimation, at his weakest and most shameful. Yet despite this – he didn’t abandon Horatio. Archie knows Clayton is dead because of him – and yet he still treats Horatio with respect. He still seems – to like having him around. It means the world to Horatio, it truly does.

He lost Archie once, thanks to Simpson – finding him again was literally like unearthing a goddamn angel from on high. The guilt he carried for losing someone as profound as Archie was already anchoring in his heart alongside his mother by that point – and yet, in turn Archie was stronger than Horatio’s memories recalled.

The man, by himself, escaped prison again and again and again and then claimed his weakness – his fits – had returned because of Horatio. Despite the significance of this, Horatio accepted that because he failed Archie – but it also absolutely assured that Horatio would not ever – for one second – give up on Archie. Because Archie never once gave up on him and he had every reason to.

And we all know how that story ended.

@the-empires reminded me of this and I am – not going to make a big post about it but it is extremely relevant so please note that, for those of you who keep Archie’s death as a canon element – Horatio never forgives himself for the man’s death.

Horatio carries Archie’s sacrifice with the same weight and gravity in which he carries the death of his own mother. He sees the man as yet another person to die so that He May Live and wow do you think ? he thinks he is worth that ?

The answer is by his account he has never been worth that. Nor will he ever be.

An interesting addendum to the fact Horatio’s nanny took him to the school she taught at on her off days is the way Horatio himself interacts with children now. Being exposed to seven – four year olds from the time he himself was four up until he left for the Navy at seventeen, Horatio is very adept at interacting with and engaging children in ways that will keep their interest and ensure they don’t get too mischievous under his observance.

Kids are a lot less judgemental and are very emotionally free, which is something Horatio has never really been – and after his dad’s lessons he got really bad at, so being around children is kind of — cathartic, in a way. Horatio smiles easily with them because there’s no reason not to, and he has so much restrained energy that playing and keeping them occupied is a good outlet for him, too.

His restrained nature does come in handy though because he’s very patient as a result, which can be a godsend with inquisitive children especially, and mischievous ones. His humor never hides with kids though – and this is poignant. Horatio loves making children laugh – so as long as he doesn’t notice that someone who knows him as ‘Mister Hornblower’ is nearby, he’s kind of comedic entertainment at it’s finest.

Horatio will suffer many indignities to garner a giggle, and especially in little ones that seem to be learning to lock their jaws – he sees it as both challenge and triumph – and any who do know him as Mister Hornblower may recognize immediately how uniquely lonely and strange that passion of Horatio’s is.

Horatio does not laugh. His smiles can be broad and even – at times – cast the appearance of laughter and yet, there is never any sound to accompany it. Perhaps a huff – a sigh of breath caught in the process of restraint – but never a whole hearted noise. He has throttled and strangled his own laughter to a point of absolute viciousness because he hates the sound. Negative enforcement taught him that it was no more welcome than tears and so, Horatio both cries and laughs in absolute silence.

It is a contradictory aspect of himself – but as children are rarely around him after joining the Navy, Horatio has little reason to examine why he is the way he is right now.

Geoffrey Hornblower was deteriorating fairly consistently after Horatio took to the Navy. Within a year of him being gone, he hired Fiona again even though there were no children in his household, and essentially had her acting as chief of staff around the house, nurse and secretary in his office and business, assistant in all manners of estate and finally, as projected wife to all emotional matters and things regarding his son.

As Fiona considered herself Horatio’s mother in all but name and blood, she took little issue with any of this and was only too happy to remain in Geoffrey’s employ no matter how erratic his behavior became over time.

When peace was declared between England and France, Horatio returned home to find things relatively as he remembered them. For a week, he stayed in his room and helped Fiona and the other servants around the house relatively unnoticed by Geoffrey.

It was while Fiona was tending to laundry that matters took a shift – Geoffrey called for her, and Horatio, being familiar with his father’s demands when tending to patients in the house ( which was not common, but Geoffrey did take emergency calls at home, particularly for duel related surgeries ) went to assist him in her stead. Focused as he was on the patient, nothing occurred until the man was resting and Geoffrey finally registered who had been helping him.

It seemed as though the man had truly been unaware of Horatio’s presence in the house until then, and the two started arguing ( or rather, Geoffrey started making sharp remarks and Horatio bit his tongue whilst thinly defending himself ) when Fiona came in and tried to intervene, urging Geoffrey to lay down and rest awhile. Geoffrey insisted Horatio leave the house, as he was too old to be ‘riding on his father’s coattails for a living’ and when Fiona gently reminded him that he was having a bad day, and did not really wish Horatio to leave, he struck her and commanded that she be silent or ‘go with the whelp.’

Furious on Fiona’s behalf, Horatio stepped between his father and his surrogate mother and for once in his life gave the man a piece of his mind. Geoffrey was taken aback sharply enough by the tirade that he seemed to realize not only where he was and to whom he was speaking, but also what had created this situation.

In a rare shift, it was Geoffrey who offered no resistance to lashing words and unkind sentiments. Indeed, when Fiona chose to quit that same day, leaving with Horatio, he made no attempt to seek her forgiveness (Though, she would learn through her friends among his household at his funeral that he had consistent days where he seemed very confused as to where she had gone, and would become either frustrated or deeply upset when he could not find her )

Six months after their departure, Geoffrey was found to have fallen down the stairs in his estate, and broken his neck. There was some speculation as to his capacities ( including rumor that he had been affected by laudanum at the time ) but little investigation was made into matters.

Fiona, taking pity on Horatio ( who was distraught with the realization his last words to his father had been ones of wrath ) took the affairs in hand and arranged for the funeral. She attended to all matters, including the reading of Geoffrey’s will – the latter of which turned out to be a wise decision, for it seemed guilt had driven Geoffrey’s last actions. His home, estate and finances were all signed over to the son of Richard Danvers.

To his son, Geoffrey left only a collection of first edition novels and a box that Fiona would open for him, and discover within every drawing, composition, and letter she had thrown away at his bequest. Horatio bade her to keep it, and seemed unwilling to look at it. It has a special spot in her room, and has been added to with her own mementos of Horatio.

In yet another extension to this piece on Horatio’s locked jaw when it comes to relying upon other people ( the pressure he places on himself and his ferociously introverted nature ) it is briefly mentioned that it is due to his upbringing that he is so withdrawn when it comes to speaking outside of the line of action; this piece expands on that seemingly throwaway line because – frankly, the films give us nothing about who Horatio was before he boarded the Justinian and these are the areas of expansion that I tend to thrive in.

Horatio’s relationship with his father is a distant one – for many reasons – though not out of a complete lack of care on the part of the man in question. Geoffrey Hornblower was a doctor and a fairly respectable one at that – well to do enough, connected enough, to get his boy a high education and then ( on seeming whim ) a midshipman position at the age of SEVENTEEN at a time when all ships were docked as there was no war and SEASONED sailors were, as a general rule, being released rather than hired.

A man of distinction, no doubt, and a man of pride. Horatio is his only son, and it is probably easy to misinterpret him as being too indulgent – or perhaps too careless – to send his boy off to the Navy with not a whit of nautical experience under his belt but that would honestly be a disservice to Horatio and Geoffrey both.

The reason Geoffrey messed Horatio up so much all stems from the simple fact of guilt – misplaced in both of them – over the death of Horatio’s mother in childbirth. Geoffrey could never reconcile the fact he lost his own wife. That he could save ( and continued to save ) life after life, but was unable to save the one dearest to him, left him something of a shell of a human being.

Geoffrey poured his entire focus into work and reputation as opposed to raising his son; it was easier than facing the haunt of failure each and every day, after all. When he did play a part with Horatio it was as a stern taskmaster, a judgmental overseer, and a sharp critic. NOT out of cruelty, mind you, but out of a misplaced need to keep Horatio clear of his own mistakes and thus, his own heartbreaks.

Geoffrey was a man who wore his heart on his sleeve and was badly battered by it; grief crippled him in ways a child could not begin to comprehend – and in an era where mental health was a general unknown area of understanding, the man’s strident focus on his career over his familial duties were not marked as any way odd. After all; by bringing up his name in society, Geoffrey did well for himself and thus by his boy, so what was there to be put to question?

Now – though Horatio was something of a ghost to the man, Geoffreynever begrudged his son his life – he simply did not know how to express love toward him beyond ensuring all of his needs were met. That any desires he should have – after some questioning – found their way to fruition. One might even have gone so far as to call Horatio spoiled by his father’s monetary affection, but it came at the cost of anything resembling a true bond. Geoffrey’s consistent criticisms and reminders of the importance of reputation and the foolishness of heart instilled in Horatio a desperate need to prove himself capable – and worthy – in his father’s eyes.

Consequently, Horatio is the reserved mess we know – but on top of that is under the distinct impression that his life is something of a stolen one, and he owes it to the mother he never knew to make it a life worth living. He blames himself for her death, and believes that Geoffrey does the same. ( This is quite incorrect; Geoffrey holds himself entirely to blame )

It is for this reason that Horatio writes home constantly, informing the man of his successes and obscuring his failings in hopeful overture – but maybe receives one letter a year, tops. His annual correspondence never comes from his father but rather from his nurse, who keeps him up to date on things best she can – she’s not able to write herself, so she saves until she can pay someone to write it all down for her and send it off, thus why he gets such infrequent and rare news. His nurse is also the closest thing to a mother he knows, but I’ll save her for another day.

In a side note related to this piece of devastation, Horatio’s stance on Andre Cotard is perhaps especially notable. Like Archie, Horatio perceives Cotard as someone who has witnessed his weakness ( namely, bias and suspicion ) and is also in the rather unusual position of being someone Horatio feels he has badly wronged in a direct fashion.

Horatio has never held himself in enough esteem to believe that anyone should have to prove themselves to him – and it was jarring to recognize that was precisely the position he forced Cotard into.

Cotard – a nobleman with a decorated military history, albeit for France – should never have had anything to prove to Horatio at any point. The fact that he had the gall to treat Cotard as he did when the man came with the recommendation, support and trust of Pellew has caused Horatio to question himself in a whole new fashion.

All promotions aside, Horatio has not forgotten his roots. He is no gentleman, and the distance between himself and nobility of any country will always be an infinite chasm. Yet for a time – however brief – he judged Cotard with the same brushstrokes as Moncoutant for no other reason than the fact that he was nobility of France. He chose to judge a man by his equals rather than his actions – and it was upon realization of this that he recognized the debt he owed to Cotard for ever making so cruel and unfounded a comparison.

For this reason, he feels he owes much to Cotard as a comrade, and would be grateful for any opportunity to make up for the damages his doubt caused.

Horatio is actually terrified of getting drunk, which results in hin generally refusing to drink. While he will enjoy a singular glass of wine at dinner if that is what is being served, he otherwise will stick to ciders and water when out with people. His grog ration is something he uses as a bartering tool and, at times, a means of rewarding others.

This all stems from the simple fact that Horatio is a phenomenallylightweight drinking companion. He has been drunk all of once in his entire life and it occured on his first real “drinking with the guys” night.

While the situation was deemed adorably hilarious to everyone notHoratio Hornblower, the young man himself was brutally mortified and has avoided drink ever since.

Horatio’s first indication that something was not “right” was the fact that his head seemed utterly incapable of staying up. It kept nodding forward, and dropping so suddenly it would jolt him from a sleepiness he was otherwise unaware of. ( Horatio is a very sleepy person once alcohol gets into him ) In an effort to ‘sleep it off’ he stumbled his way to his room – deeply disliking his own imbalance and at one point, knocking things over in an effort to keep it.

This translated to his mind as a horrific scene because he is also a dramatic idiot once his walls are down, and he took great pains to set things ‘right’ before sleeping. In the morning, amid his headache, he fixed things up properly, apologized profusely to anyone who would listen, and swore alcohol as the devil’s drink ever since.

Literally all he did was trip and knock some shit over but in his mind it was very horrible, the absolute epitome of bad day, bad form, and he refuses to repeat it.